I was bullied in Middle School. Who wasn't? I went from being an outsider, to trying my hardest to infiltrate the "in crowd," to rejecting the whole exercise and choosing to have only a few true friends. It was a very difficult time, and it left me with a profound distaste for drama.
Several years later, I tried out Christianity. This time, I almost instantly became friends with the "in crowd." I grew in my faith. Then, I saw my friends make fun of the younger girls who were awkwardly trying to navigate those first few years of womanhood. I was so disappointed. It all seemed like such a charade. I saw their parents doing the same things on Sunday. The politics and the one-upmanship. I really didn't have much faith to begin with, so I was done. Adios. Sayonara.
In the place of religion, I eventually developed a "do good, be good" mentality. It gave me direction. It gave me purpose. It helped to fill the emptiness I felt inside when I asked myself "why are we here?" And, it felt free from all the hypocrisy and baggage that came with organized religion.
So here I am. I try my best to do good and be good every day. Despite limited resources, and hectic schedules, and so many demands on my time and energy. As a mom, as a wife, as a member of my community. Trying so hard to do right.
And I see other moms around me doing the same. Other moms I respect and care about. Good people. All of us working so hard for home, family, school. And I know people are fallible. We have bad days. We have to make hard choices. And sometimes, we simply make a mistake.
I've always felt that these other moms were like my "safe place." People amongst whom you didn't have to pretend to have it all together. People that knew you and your struggle. People that could see you mess up and still respect and care about you.
But recently, in some quarters, I see that old nemesis - hypocrisy. It tiptoes around a group of moms and peeks out with a snarky comment here, a juicy bit of gossip there. Sometimes, it doesn't even try to conceal itself. I know I've been guilty of courting this enemy from time to time - made comments hoping to ingratiate myself to a group of moms I'd really like to be closer friends with. But every time, I've ended up regretting it, and wishing I could take those hurtful words back.
I really wish that all these good people - really tremendous, with hearts of gold, who would do anything to help out - would just cut the crap already. Choose kindness. Choose to give people the benefit of the doubt. Choose not to gossip and talk about others. Do you really know me well enough to judge me? I doubt it. We're all just doing the best we can here.
So, I'm back at that old familiar place: Audios. Goodbye. Peace out. I'm a no drama mama. I hope you all will choose to be a no drama mama, too.
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